shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
