I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
