hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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