your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
