I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
