I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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