Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
