If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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