do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
