Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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