I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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