i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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