This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
