Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
