I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
