did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
