How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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