he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize