yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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