i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
