If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
