Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
