Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
