I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
