Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
