i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
