She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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