We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
