We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
