smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
