i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
