It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
