Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize