well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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