Plan B is the new Plan A
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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