Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
