I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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