Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
where are you?
Hypothermia
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize