yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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