We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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