I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
