the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Randomize
