Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
