She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
