I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
