Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
