can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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