The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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