i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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