Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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