Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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