What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
