Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
