Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
