JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
