Buhtt sex?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
