Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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