I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
