Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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